Month: January 2002

Schoolyard humor circa 1981. Sorry no swearing:

“How many letters are there in the alphabet?”

“Twenty-six?”

“No. Twenty-three, because J.R. got shot and the bee [‘b’] got away.”

Thank you. You’ve been great!

I fretted around my parents’ house trying to figure out some way to get into the car trunk that my real self was locked inside of. I was ashamed that I, the fraud had somehow gotten my more deserving self into this situation. I couldn’t find a key, there was no phone, and the nearest neighbor lived miles away.

Eventually my dad showed up and I got him to open the trunk. I looked inside and saw myself lying there, wearing an oversized shirt and pants over my regular clothes. My head was tucked inside the big shirt. My dad and I pulled the big clothes off and he/I woke up. I apologized profusely to the real me – he was quick to forgive.

Now that I write it down, this dream sounds like a plot device from a bad movie.