Overheard recently on buses and in coffee shops:
“If you alternate between espresso and tea, you get more caffiene because they work differently.”
“I hate cursive. It sucks. When we learned cursive, we had to write only in cursive for the whole year. After that, I never wanted to use it again. It [...]
I was out at the end of Pier 62/63 again today, looking down at the little fish that drift around there. Something big appeared in the water in my peripheral vision, and my eyes moved automatically in that direction. It was a school of a dozen enormous fish. They just slipped by [...]
We tried to straighten it out when the waiter told us that he’d gotten the glasses confused. But now I’m pretty sure that I have her vodka tonic and she has my gin and tonic. I don’t trust my taste for these things though. This reminds me of the pizza we had [...]
The sound of the impact was followed by a crunch and a grunt. Then there was a bicycle under a Ford Ranger and a cyclist sprawled out on the street. The cyclist got up straight away and tried to tug his bike out from under the car, before the driver was even able [...]
Except during leap year, autumn doesn’t officially start until the president balances an egg on its end.
The hot air balloons – two dots that were bobbing up and down behind a hill to the north – have disappeared behind the trees. A parachute-shaped kite dives toward the ground at least three times before recovering. At the lowest point of each dive, I’m surprised that it doesn’t swipe against the [...]
A man with a big smile, wide teeth, and friendly voice steps up beside me: “Are you having a good day today?”
“Yes. I’m having a good day.”
“I’m having a good day today because I got paid.” He steps off the curb just as the traffic light changes in our favor and [...]
I noticed, over Samantha’s shoulder, that an old man was trying to catch my eye. I returned his stare with a noncommital nod and stayed with my conversation.
Eventually he walked over to our table and interupted us, “You look just like my nephew.” He was wearing a baseball cap with redundant USAs stitched [...]
A pigeon, with feather leg warmers growing all the way to its ankles, pecks at a morsel on the sidewalk. The crumb tastes inedible, and by reflex the bird opens its beak and drops the crumb back onto the sidewalk. It gives the speck another try and it still tastes bad, so it [...]