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Monthly Archives: May 2002

Cat Pictures

Thursday, May 9, 2002

Other people post photos of their cats. I post pictures of my teapot. Okay? Okay. I dropped my teapot’s lid this morning, giving the teapot its first new blemish since I chipped it on the day I bought it more than seven years ago. Everything is fine here, no interruption of service should be expected. [...]

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What the Designated Driver Saw

Wednesday, May 8, 2002

Did I mention?: The comedian maintained his hammered-condition with straight shots of vodka. He repeated jokes and accepted requests from the audience, many of whom seemed to know all his material already. He made a passing remark about Vicodin, so a college kid walked purposefully up to the stage and handed him a prescription bottle. [...]

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My Trip to the Moon and the Events That Immediately Followed

Monday, May 6, 2002

I put the finishing touches to my rocket this morning and took a quick trip to the moon. I didn’t have a spacesuit with me, so when I got there I just looked out the window. Re-entry was pretty sweaty, so I took a shower after I’d re-oriented myself to the Earth’s strong gravity. When [...]

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The Letter

Thursday, May 2, 2002

Robert had been saying that he wanted me to help him write a letter to his mother. I’d been putting him off, “We’ll talk about it later.” I had visions of long paragraphs spiraling into nowhere and I didn’t have the patience to make sense of it. One of his pastors turned him down too. [...]

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The Definitive Version

Wednesday, May 1, 2002

I’m pretty much like this in real life too (once you get me talking). I can go on and on, recounting stories whose poignancy I feel but wouldn’t be able to defend. Recently I’ve been self-conscious when I tell a story that I’ve written about or alluded to here. I’ll look nervously at someone who [...]

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