Based on the forensic evidence I was able to determine that the WHACK! Thump. Sproinng! (thump.) (thump.) Clatter! that woke me up early this morning was caused by an orange falling from a shelf in the kitchen, hitting a spoon on the counter and launching it into the air, and rolling to a stop in the sink. Whether that chain of events was more comical than the way I clambered out of bed and wrestled a pair of pants on before going out to confront an unknown intruder depends on your perspective, I suppose. I ate the orange in the end.
No, no, no… all wrong. It’s Banana You Glad.
Sounds like the opening scene from PeeWee Herman’s first feature length.
Glad it wasn’t an intruder…