One Truth, Four Lies

Guess which one of the following stories is true:

  • When I was in fifth grade, I loaded the game Math Blaster on the classroom computer using a swear word as the username. This was discovered later in the day and the game was banned.
  • I was once actually turned down for a job selling Cutco knives.
  • I saw Francis Ford Copolla standing alone in the parking lot of the Camlin Hotel on the night before the WTO riots.
  • Using Books‘ bestselling title has been Barry Goldwater’s The Conscience of a Conservative.
  • When I was very young, whenever I scratched an itch, stubbed a toe, or simply brushed up against something, I would have the compulsion to create a matching sensation in the same spot on the other side of my body.

Update: Answered in the comments.

Categorized as Before


  1. My guess would be Francis Ford Copola. Here is my logic. The first is something your brother would have done. The second is something your other brother actually did (sold the knives, not denied the job.) The fourth is something that I can’t imagine you selling, and you don’t have any copies in stock. Of course, that could mean you have sold out, but c’mon now!! The last one is more likely something one of your sisters would do, though I say that as much because there are no more brothers to blame things on.

    That leaves Francis Ford Copola.

  2. Well, it’s past time to come clean. All five are true, which means that all three commenters are right. That makes no one an April Fool.

  3. I distinctly remember the second one as an anecdote, (a bit more distinctly than I remembered the first one as an anecdote, which I also remember to flushas biographical instead of autobiographical.) I only vaguely remembered the third one. The fifth one looks easily like a case of careful observation of a kid at play. And, I suspected the Goldwater case was a decoy based on this comment:

  4. hahahahahaha, its obvious the one about cutco is a lie, virtually NO ONE gets turned down to sell cutco, vector marketing is a piece of shit.

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